1. Home

A Descriptive Essay About a Day of Fishing and Swimming

This is a descriptive essay about a day of fishing and swimming. The student tells about eating at a favorite restaurant before settling in for a relaxing day at the lake.
PAGES
2
WORDS
703
  Cite
View Full Essay
About this essay
This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley
Generating Preview...
This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bob's feedback:

"You've done a good job of setting a scene that your reader can easily see themselves in. Since this is listed as a descriptive essay, it's a good idea to focus on providing vivid descriptions. This doesn't necessarily have to be done by adding adjectives. Instead of saying "taking a bite of crunchy fish," you could say "my first bite gave a satisfying crunch." Rather than simply describing the water as still, you might say how the stillness of the water made you feel. This will elevate the writing and make the descriptions come more naturally.

You cover a lot of details from your day, and some of them may not be necessary. For instance, you mention in passing that it took you a while to find a fishing spot. If this isn't going to be a descriptive sentence, consider omitting it or merging it into another sentence (for example: "After searching for what felt like hours for a good spot, I settled in..."). If a sentence is not providing description and isn't necessary to provide context, consider omitting it."

Learn more about this feedback