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A Discussion About the Negative Effects of Overpopulation

This essay discusses the issue of overpopulation. The student notes that the destruction of natural resources and the prevalence of poverty are both direct results of the world's expanding human population.
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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bob's feedback:

"You have a great collection of thoughts and ideas that can be organized into a solid paper. However, this essay suffers from issues with organization and focus.

Your first two paragraphs seem to struggle with identifying what you think is the biggest problem with overpopulation. You don't have to identify a single aspect as being the most severe; your thesis statement could list a number of issues that are extremely important. Bearing that in mind, your introduction shouldn't jump into arguments or analysis; instead, it should simply lay out the foundation of your arguments.

Your conclusion should also be separate and avoid introducing new ideas or viewpoints (such as the possible positive side effects of overpopulation). Consider writing an outline with a main topic for each paragraph to address these organization issues.

Make sure to proofread as well. There are several awkwardly worded sentences, issues with articles ("the"), and other sacattered errors."

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