In-text citation:
(Kibin, 2023)
Reference list entry:
Kibin. (2023). A discussion about the negative effects of overpopulation. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/a-discussion-about-the-negative-effects-of-overpopulation-f2woYS6m
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Bob's feedback:
"You have a great collection of thoughts and ideas that can be organized into a solid paper. However, this essay suffers from issues with organization and focus.
Your first two paragraphs seem to struggle with identifying what you think is the biggest problem with overpopulation. You don't have to identify a single aspect as being the most severe; your thesis statement could list a number of issues that are extremely important. Bearing that in mind, your introduction shouldn't jump into arguments or analysis; instead, it should simply lay out the foundation of your arguments.
Your conclusion should also be separate and avoid introducing new ideas or viewpoints (such as the possible positive side effects of overpopulation). Consider writing an outline with a main topic for each paragraph to address these organization issues.
Make sure to proofread as well. There are several awkwardly worded sentences, issues with articles ("the"), and other sacattered errors."
Learn more about this feedback
In-text citation:
(Kibin, 2023)
Reference list entry:
Kibin. (2023). A discussion about the negative effects of overpopulation. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/a-discussion-about-the-negative-effects-of-overpopulation-f2woYS6m
In-text citation:
("A Discussion About the Negative Effects of Overpopulation.")
Works Cited entry:
"A Discussion About the Negative Effects of Overpopulation." Kibin, 2023, www.kibin.com/essay-examples/a-discussion-about-the-negative-effects-of-overpopulation-f2woYS6m
Footnote:
1. "A Discussion About the Negative Effects of Overpopulation." Kibin, 2023. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/a-discussion-about-the-negative-effects-of-overpopulation-f2woYS6m.
Bibliography entry:
"A Discussion About the Negative Effects of Overpopulation." Kibin, 2023. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/a-discussion-about-the-negative-effects-of-overpopulation-f2woYS6m.
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