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A Discussion on Observing the Past to Determine the Future

In this essay, the student discusses archaeological studies and records about past cultures to show that while previous experiences are influential in how current cultures live, the freedom of choice is still an important factor.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Emily's feedback:

"The formatting of your essay and the presentation of information is done well. However, citations are missing from this essay. You present a lot of good information to back up your thesis, so make sure you are also citing that information.

There is also a lot of repetition throughout. While it is important to reiterate your thesis, you do not want to use the same words and phrasing each time you do that at the end of your body paragraphs. Additionally, the conclusion is really just a repeat of the introduction. The conclusion is a great spot to add in a new piece of information or pose a question that, while still finishing the essay nicely, presents the opportunity for more thought or discussion on the topic. It is important that at the very least, in terms of phrasing in your conclusion, you are changing it from what was written in the introduction."

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