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A Domino Effect: Exploring the Impact of Emotional Trauma

This essay explores three sources related to emotional trauma. The student's thesis is that trauma impacts not only the person experiencing it directly, but also those around them, including family and even future descendants.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

MJ's feedback:

"Your essay is off to a strong start in terms of organization; you have body paragraphs, an intro and conclusion that link well, and support from your sources. You also offer several good arguments to support your thesis statement. Work on clarifying some of your content -- the details of your sources are hard to follow. For example, you say that "The War Photo No One Wanted Published" is by Torie Rose Deghett, but on page 2, you start talking about someone named Jarecke. This is confusing; you should clearly introduce each person you refer to (in the case of Jarecke, list his full name and define who he is before you begin exploring his reactions to the picture he took).

The same applies to both of your other resources as well. For instance, the authors of "Genetics of Emotions" are never named at all, and you do not explain who Janet Seahorn is (a journalist? a scientist? why are her observations credible?). Revising to clarify throughout will add strength to your sources, and, therefore, your entire essay. Be sure to finish formatting your reference list in accordance with APA style, rather than leaving them as a list. There were also some errors with grammar, punctuation, and word choice, as well as places where citations may need to be added; a round of editing may be beneficial."

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