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A Letter of Complaint About the Poor Conditions and Services at a School Library

This is a letter that the author wrote to complain about the poor conditions and services at their school library to promote change. The author mentions that the librarians are rude, there is insufficient space to sit and read, the furniture is old and broken, the books are old and torn, the media equipment is faulty, and the borrowing period is too short.
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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Jenn's feedback:

"You have done an excellent job communicating what the purpose of your letter is. You have also done a great job making sure that every point you made in the body of the letter relates to that purpose. All of the points you made are straightforward, and you always give evidence to support the points you made, which is excellent. I would suggest considering writing in a more conversational tone. While you are very passionate about this topic and want to have something done about it, if you come across too aggressively in your language, the reader is less likely to consider your concerns and requests. While your letter has an introduction, it does not have a clear conclusion. Consider writing a conclusion that summarizes the main points made in the body of the letter and relates them to the introduction. Last, there are numerous grammar and sentence structure errors throughout the letter leading to some of the text being hard to understand. Make sure to resolve these issues so that the message you are trying to convey is better received."

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