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Word Count: 951
How to be Annoying Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green and insist to others that you like it that way Drum on every available surface Remove every line of someones newsrc file except the entry for altsexfetishhamsterduct-tape Sing the Batman theme incessantly Staple papers in the middle of the page Ask 800 operators for dates Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks Hide dairy products in inaccessible places Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page Specify that your drive-through order is to go Set alarms for random times Learn Morse code and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon Instead of Gallo serve Night Train next Thanksgiving Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Eds stereo with the volume properly adjusted Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise Honk and wave to strangers Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange Change channels five minutes before the end of every show Tape pieces of Sweating to the Oldies over climactic parts of rental movies Wear your pants backwards Decline to be seated at a restaurant and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register Begin all your sentences with ooh la la Rouse your roommates from slumber each morning with Lou Reeds Metal Machine Music Leave someones printer in compressed-italic-cyrillic-landscape mode ONLY TYPE
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