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In the article Ill Explain it to You Lecturing and Listening by Deborah Tannen the main focus of men dominating conversation and women taking the passive role as listener is discussed Tannen also suggests that both men and women have different listening and response styles in conversation Tannen begins by illustrating that men lecture and women listen She claims that this is because women seek to build rapportto play down their expertise while men tend to value the position of center stagethey seek opportunities to gather and disseminate information390 She states that from her experiences men may still try to dominate the conversation even if they are less knowledgeable then she is on the subject Tannen found that women respond in an interested and encouraging way to a subject even without a lot of knowledge Tannen does add that this is not true of all males but that it is a male way To support her observations Tannen uses a study by psychologist HMLeet-Pellegrini This study was to discover if gender or expertise was a determination of who would behave in a controlling or dominant way The study showed males did tend to dominate conversations especially on subjects they knew a lot about Tannen suggests that this study shows that women really want to know Do you like me whereas men want to know Do you respect me Tannen discusses that in relation to listening and understanding both men and women have issues they are unhappy with She points out that women often have the impression that men are not listening to them because they do not react in the same manner that a woman would The same is also true for men who feel that they are not being heard According to anthropologists Maltz and Borker women give more signals that they are listening such as yeah or uh-uh and that they respond more positively and agreeably then men
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