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A Personal Essay About an Immigrant's Cultural Identity

This personal essay describes the struggle with cultural identity after immigrating to a new country. The student describes how she felt that she felt neither Chinese nor American after moving to the United States and finally decided that her identity is uniquely her own.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bob's feedback:

"This is really a great paper that shows how your outlook developed as you explored your cultural identity. The twist that occurs when your Chinese friends call you American really brings the point home.

There are some issues with clarity that should be addressed. For example, consider this sentence: "By focusing on the teacher, I did not react to his comments, which unexpectedly stuck with me or the past eight years." "His" seems to refer to the teacher until the reader gets more context, and the last part of the sentence switches to a different chronological point of view. Make sure to edit your paper carefully (or work with another editor) to address these issues."

Learn more about this feedback