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Bob's feedback:
"The person you're writing about is obviously very special to you and that comes across well in your writing. Your descriptions of how your trust and fondness for one another are off to a good start but could use some detail and clarification. Many of the events in the narrative, as well as many of the qualities your boyfriend shows, are very general without giving the reader a clear sense of what you mean. For instance, you mention your friends wanting you "to do things out of [your] comfort zone." You also mention the ex-girlfriend's "wicked intentions." These vague statements don't give the reader any context or understanding of the situation. You mention that you knew you wanted a relationship as soon as he said he was content to just be friends. This would be a great place to explain which qualities he was displaying and why that sentiment was so important to you. Considering how much emotion is wrapped up in this situation, it is important to step back and consider how this essay will be read by an outsider who may not necessarily intrinsically trust your assessment. Finally, make sure to address the number of grammatical errors, as well as the formatting (left justification is standard) by having your essay proofread by a peer or editor."
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In-text citation:
(Kibin, 2024)
Reference list entry:
Kibin. (2024). A personal essay about meeting my boyfriend, who is also my best friend. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/a-personal-essay-about-meeting-my-boyfriend-who-is-also-my-best-friend-FOt5HSwY
In-text citation:
("A Personal Essay About Meeting My Boyfriend, Who Is Also My Best Friend.")
Works Cited entry:
"A Personal Essay About Meeting My Boyfriend, Who Is Also My Best Friend." Kibin, 2024, www.kibin.com/essay-examples/a-personal-essay-about-meeting-my-boyfriend-who-is-also-my-best-friend-FOt5HSwY
Footnote:
1. "A Personal Essay About Meeting My Boyfriend, Who Is Also My Best Friend." Kibin, 2024. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/a-personal-essay-about-meeting-my-boyfriend-who-is-also-my-best-friend-FOt5HSwY.
Bibliography entry:
"A Personal Essay About Meeting My Boyfriend, Who Is Also My Best Friend." Kibin, 2024. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/a-personal-essay-about-meeting-my-boyfriend-who-is-also-my-best-friend-FOt5HSwY.
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