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A Personal Essay About Overcoming Low Self-Esteem and Isolation

This is a personal essay about feelings of isolation and low self-esteem. The student describes the difficulties of remote learning during the pandemic, problems with school bullies, and body image issues.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bob's feedback:

"It can be difficult to write about personal struggles and insecurities, especially when those are being fueled by others. You do a great job of conveying the feeling of isolation that both remote learning and bullying can instill in students. Since part of your focus is on overcoming such difficulties, some extra explanation of how you've been able to change your situation and perspective would be helpful. For example, what were the "adjustments" that you made that helped you appreciate your personal appearance? How did a teacher come to your aid against the bullies, and how did their approach (or yours) differ from the previous incidents? This information could be very helpful to other students who are going through similar experiences.

Consider having your paper proofread for clarity and flow as well as some awkward word choices (such as "moreover" in the second paragraph). Also, consider formatting your essay so that it is left-justified to make it easier for readers to follow. Centering is best used for titles and headings, rather than body text. Your essay has the potential to help other students overcome their own difficult situations, and working on the above issues will help to make the paper even stronger."

Learn more about this feedback