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A Personal Statement for Getting Hired at a Healthcare Facility

This is a personal statement written to get hired for a position in the medical field. The author discusses seeing a childhood friend die while playing and saving a woman who had just given birth. The author also writes about their trials working in Sudan and KSA, passing USMLE exams, and earning an ECFMG certificate.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Jenn's feedback:

"You are off to a great start with this personal statement. You have done a fantastic job writing about everything that makes you who you are today. You have also done an excellent job with the formatting of your statement, which is essential because when a paper is neatly formatted, it is easier to read. The area in which your paper could use the most work is with grammar and sentence structure. There are a lot of places where you could improve the coherence of the letter if these errors are resolved. I highly suggest that you or someone else proofread this personal statement to further increase the strength of the message."

Learn more about this feedback