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A Poetic Condemnation of Israel's Aggression Against Palestine

This is a poetic condemnation of Israel's aggression against Palestine. The student uses vivid imagery and emotion to call out Israel's attrocities.
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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bob's feedback:

"This is a moving piece, and the imagery hits the reader hard. However, it is unclear what the purpose of this paper is. If it is meant to be a persuasive essay, it lacks supporting information or a well-formed argument to convince a reader of your view. The language is flowery and poetic, but this can detract from the seriousness of the issue. Several phrases are written in a complex way that loses meaning, especially since many words are used incorrectly. For instance, the word "donned" in the last sentence of the first paragraph is not used in a sensical way. Consider working closely with an editor with your purpose in mind to ensure that you are clearly conveying the message you want to, and make sure to discuss the purpose of the essay with your editor to ensure that you are meeting your goals."

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