A Proposal for Cancer Intervention
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"You have provided a significant amount of quality evidence to support your position. The evidence grabs the reader's attention and leads to a call to action that the reader can agree with. The primary reason why it is apparent what the goal of this paper is is because of the title. Including both an introduction and a conclusion would make the goal of your paper significantly more clear. Since there is a significant amount of facts present it is concerning that there are no citations. Make sure to cite all information obtained from other texts to avoid plagiarism issues. Also, when reading the essay, it feels more like you are listing facts than telling a story. Add transitional phrases and sentences between each new idea to help the paper flow better. "
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