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My Beautiful Friend Suicide is a deep and complicating loss It leaves a profound and everlasting effect on everyone it touches The mere word suicide conjures up a sorrowful and tragic image coupled with pity and disbelief at such an outrageous selfish and extreme act When someone you care about commits suicide the burden of guilt and pain are overwhelming The aftermath of a suicide is complex and almost seems to consume you The tragedy of loss is only magnified I was present when one of my dearest friends Kenny chose to end his life He was only nineteen years old When Kenny died my life my world was instantly turned upside down Everything became immediately foreign and I was changed as a person In a second I lost all control over my normalcy I went to school with Kennys brother and roommate James We were all very close and spent most of our spare time in each others company They had a house just down the street from their parents in the mountains about a half-hour from town When I wasnt at work or school I was there I would frequently spend the weekend there sometimes just hanging out with the boys doing a whole lot of absolutely nothing We were really into punk shows and in fact thats how I met Kenny Right after they had first moved in the house they had a show a great party centered on live bands to break in the place I hung out with James at school most of the time and whenever he stayed in town but had only been to his parents a handful of times usually to get him and go back to town They really lived in the sticks I knew James younger brother Mike but until that night I didnt know Kenny his older brother The show was fabulous tons of people several awesome bands a huge
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