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A Reflection on "War and Peace: Is War Necessary to Have Peace?"

In this reflective paper, the student responds to and reflects on an essay titled "War and Peace: Is War Necessary to Have Peace?" The student first gives a brief summary of the piece and then comments on the indispensability of war, what incites war, and the changes war causes in the lives of those affected.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Crystal's feedback:

"You've done a good job summarizing the details of the "War and Peace" article in the intro, and you formulate and support your response well in each paragraph individually (but make sure to add any necessary MLA citations to the content from the article or any other source). However, the main elements of your paper aren't identified in the intro with a clear thesis statement (it would also be great to name the article and author in the intro), and the transitioning/framing around each body paragraph could be improved so that there is a logical flow and connection between each aspect of your response to the article. Also be careful with introducing new information in the conclusion; instead, some of your points there would be better integrated in other areas to shore up the rationale behind relevant statements. Finally, your paper would be improved readability-wise by cleaning up the punctuation and POV (i.e., the pronoun use), and touching up the phrasing in some areas for flow improvements."

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