Why History Textbooks Must Present the Story of Racism in America

Bridget's feedback:

"Balancing critical theory and a variety of texts is no small task, but you are off to a great start in this essay, which consistently attends to the main points and thesis across the various pages. I'd like to check in on the manner in which the project and focus is presented in the introduction's last two sentences; "specifically during the time surrounding the Civil War..." suggests a history essay, but your discussions is focused around critical race theory and historiography. Can the wording here be revised to better reflect this more sophisticated project? (I suggest revising so the statement doesn't imply racism was "more" significant during that period in time, which would run counter to other points made in this essay, e.g., the first sentence of your conclusion.) Similarly, "Also important is the way racism is presented..." subordinates this next point about textbooks, but the discussion opens and closes on this point that is, again, about critical race theory; as above, can this be revised at the level of diction and language to best convey the essay's focus?

At the level of lower-order concerns, make sure to italicize book titles, and use a thorough proofread to catch occasional errors. I see some opportunities to tighten up the writing, creating more efficient flow and movement, such as at the start of paragraph 3, where you might consider this revision: Loewen's chapter "Gone with the Wind" uses Margaret Mitchell's novel as a model for.... Keep a similar eye out for moments that should be written more clearly for the reader. In the following sentence, for example, what is instilled in white Americans is not clear: "The social and economic inferiority that was imposed on blacks throughout history has been instilled in whites to this day.""

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