A Short Biography of Henry David Thoreau and How His Life Influenced His Writings
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"You did a great job with the chronological presentation of Thoreau's life throughout the paragraphs and paragraph development overall in the body of the paper. However, the introduction lacks a clear thesis statement and suggests that you will discuss how the events of his life influence his work to a great extent than is present in the paragraphs. You do connect the two in some spots, but more of this would strengthen that element. A clear thesis statement is also needed in the introduction to frame the scope of the paper for the reader, which might require you to shift the information about his very early life into a body paragraph instead. Finally, your overall diction and the clarity of the paper are both in great shape, but your essay would benefit from a thorough proofreading to clean up the significant number of grammar and punctuation errors. With some minor work, you can really pull things together more cohesively and strengthen the overall presentation."
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