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A Study of Society's Impact on an Individual's Outlook in Life

In this informative essay, a student discusses the forces that must come into play for a change to occur in society. The student talks about social norms and how people's perceptions of reality impact their ability to effect change.
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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

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Angela's feedback:

"You make many valid points in your essay, but the work as a whole lacks a logical structure that is easy for the reader to follow. Revising your thesis so that it more directly addresses your main topics would help the reader anticipate the type of information you'll be sharing. However, some parts of the work, such as your paragraph on religion, seem irrelevant to your main point and should likely be removed because they aren't covered in enough depth to be meaningful. In terms of writing conventions, book titles should be italicized, and sentence fragments such as the one that begins "The society if" should be recast for clarity. Your use of the word "society" should be reviewed since there are many instances where it is inappropriately used with the article "the" or would be better off paired with "a." There are also a couple of glaring typos that need to be fixed."

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