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A Summary of "Dream Machines" by Will Wright

This essay summarizes the "Dream Machines" article by Will Wright. The student details the key points that Wright lays out about the gaming world and how and why gaming will become more widely accepted and advanced over time.
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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

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Crystal's feedback:

"You seem to nicely summarize the key points of the article and include substantial details and citations. However, make sure to create smooth transitions between paragraphs so that you're leading the reader through your summary. Clarity and grammar/punctuation could also be improved by avoiding sentence fragments (e.g., second to last sentence, as well as other sentences), comma splices (e.g., third sentence in second paragraph), and comma errors (quite a few throughout). Structure-wise, the thesis statement would be stronger if you touched on the main points you will summarize or stated that you would be summarizing the author's main points, and the conclusion should be a synthesis of the main points of *your* summary (no new info in the conclusion). With formatting, some spacing and indents are inconsistent, and your in-text citations do not fully comply with MLA (e.g., author name doesn't need to be used each time since, periods should go outside the citation, second body paragraph has two citations at the end). Finally, make sure to watch for typos, including capitalization (see "In Conclusion" at start of last paragraph)."

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