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Word Count: 1,416
Beowulf is an Anglo-Saxon epic read and enjoyed if by enjoyed you mean hated with a fiery burning passion - wait a second by students everywhere It was once thought that it was one of the only surviving pieces of Anglo-Saxon literature apparently the Anglo-Saxons liked their literature as much as we do However to our dismay a new manuscript has been excavated about Beowulfs brother and his adventures in a land known to them as The Cherry Hill Mall Meowulf Translated from old varsity cheerleader by Glarin Tronfaar Yo We have heard of the glory of the Sears-Roebucks in the old days 10 years ago and kings of enterprise - how noble entrepreneurs showed great feminism Often Guli Cainfort seized great food court benches from many a freshmen from many a gang he terrified checkout ladies even though first he was found broke penniless He plundered shopping bags terrified rent-a-cops He was a good king Guli then departed at the appointed time still with a high credit limit to the final shopping place His dear mall-rats carried his body to the malls exit as he had ordered and let him drift away in the parking lot much like he had came skipping 300 Christmas seasons as Anglo-Saxon poetry often does Hignar is now king of all Cherryland and is very old and very broke Hignar was given 10-50 savings in macys such sky miles in Sam Goody that the lackies at his school eagerly served him It came into his mind that he would build a great non-alcohliceverage hall people stop hanging aroundall day at the mall when theyre old enough to go some place more exciting for his homitatus which the sons of tools would hear of forever and ever It was to be named Caernot Then it is rumored the story of the work was emailed to all people throughout middle-school After many years
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