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A Sunday at Belle Mare Public Beach in Mauritius

This essay describes the delights of Belle Mare Public Beach in Mauritius, painting a delightful picture of a happy and contented crowd.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Jim's feedback:

"Your essay is enticing, given that it has been snowing where I live. I looked up this beach on Google, and it seems to be spelled "Belle Mare," which is spelled and capitalized differently from what you write. You write "very" several times. That word typically adds no useful information, and is best deleted. If this were formal writing, I would avoid "lots of" and instead write "many." You write "tall huge." You could probably write just "huge," and if you keep both words, they should be separated by a comma. We do not refer to "the parking," but instead the "parking lot" or "parking area." You say "an ice cream truck noticed." You should say it is noticed. You write "Some are just enjoying ..., others can be spotted ... ." this is a comma splice (https://www.grammarly.com/blog/comma-splice/). You should separate the two thoughts with a semicolon, or write this as two distinct sentences. I suggest that you use a grammar checker, such as is available in Microsoft Word, or an editor to check your work."

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