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A Valedictorian's Farewell Speech to the Graduating Class

This is a valedictorian's speech to the writer's 8th grade graduating class.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

K's feedback:

"The purpose of your speech is clear, and your opening paragraph is a good start. Valedictorian speeches should be short, memorable, and positive. You use the idea of a journey to move from one grade to the next. You may want to focus in on some specific anecdotes or amusing stories from the different grade levels to highlight the ideas you mention. You have included some humor within the speech. It would be wonderful if you could include more gentle humor that engages the audience. Graduation speeches that include gentle humor can be quite memorable. It may be that not all of the students graduating started in the school district, so you might want to take that into consideration. It's wonderful that you have chosen to weave in the students' maturing faith with their journey towards adulthood. This is a well organized essay that is easy to read. There are a few minor grammar issues that should be rectified before submission."

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