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A Woman Who Must Deal with the Murder of Her Husband

In this piece of creative writing, a student shares the tale of a woman, Mrs. Maloney, who has just lost her husband, Patrick. The student describes the night of Patrick’s murder and the morning after.
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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Angela's feedback:

"Your story has an interesting beginning and end, and you do a good job of characterizing Mrs. Maloney. However, there are many distracting writing convention errors to address with a thorough edit. A new paragraph should be started whenever the speaker changes in dialogue. The first word (e.g., “the” or “says”) in a speech tag that comes after a piece of dialogue should not be capitalized nor should words such as “Thank” or “That’s” when they appear in the middle of a sentence. Review is needed to ensure that quotation marks are facing the correct way and have been spaced properly. Your comma use should be revisited too since you often use commas where they’re not needed (e.g., in the phrases “counter, and adjusts” and “table, for the”)."

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