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Air Travel's Negative Impact on Health and Environment

This is an essay about the negative effects of air travel. The student discusses the problems with both pollution and congestion and how passengers can help address these issues.
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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Emily's feedback:

"Your opinion about the negatives of air travel and the best ways to solve those problems comes through quite clearly. However, the arrangement of the content is pretty confusing because it jumps around quite a bit. This leads to a lot of repetition of sentences and phrases, which you want to try to avoid. Your thesis also makes it clear that passengers are the solution to this problem, but you only mention one small solution and it does not appear until the end of the essay. Consider either reworking your thesis a little so it flows better with the rest essay, or making sure that any point you make throughout your essay can be related back to your thesis statement. It might be helpful for you to consult a style guide to ensure that in-text citations, quotations, and formatting are all correct. Purdue OWL is a helpful source for that. This essay could also benefit from a round of proofreading to help clean up any spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors that appear throughout."

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