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An Admissions Essay in the Time of Covid-19

This is an admissions essay that highlights the student's ability to overcome obstacles including the Covid-19 pandemic.
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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bob's feedback:

"You've listed a lot of pertinent information and given some insight into your work ethic and range of interests. Now it will be a good idea to make your essay stand out.

Your introduction, in particular, is heartfelt, but it's somewhat vague and stereotypical. This is your opportunity to stand out. Consider stating what specifically attracted you to the university and what you can bring to them. The more specific and unique you can be, the more likely you are to catch your reader's attention.

Rather than giving a list of the kinds of activities you've participated in, tell your reader how those activities have shaped you and, more importantly, how they highlight the qualities that make you a good candidate for the program you're applying for. Did you win any awards? Did you overcome your fear of public speaking to join the debate team? These things will be more likely to endear you to your audience. The sections about working during the pandemic and starting a business are good, solid examples.

There is a significant number of errors throughout the essay, especially with capitalization. Make sure to have your paper proofread thoroughly, as formatting and presentation are key in admissions essays."

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