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Word Count: 439
An African proverb states Before you get married keep both eyes open and after you marry close one eye Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone dont let lustdesperation immaturity ignorance pressure from others or a low-self esteem make you blind to warning signs Keep your eyes open and dont fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults arent really that important Once you decide to commit to someone over time their flaws vulnerabilities pet peeves and differences will become more obvious If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve youve got to learn how to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you You and your mate have many different expectations emotional needs valuesdreams weaknesses and strengths You are two unique individual children of God who have decided to share a life together Neither of you is perfect but are you perfect for each other Do you bring out the best in each other Do you compliment and compromise with each other or do you competecompare and control What do you bring to the relationship Do you bring past relationships past hurt past mistrust past pain You cant take someone to the altar to alter him or her You cant make someone love you or make someone stay If you develop self-esteem spiritual discernment and a life you wont find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain Manipulation control jealousy neediness and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving healthy loving and lasting relationship Seeking status sex wealth and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship What keeps a relationship strong Communication intimacy trust a sense of humor sharing household tasks some getaway time without business or children and daily exchanges a meal shared activity a hug a
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