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Are you OK Youve most likely heard this interrogative spoken at times like these Subject 1 Lying in a pool of his own blood obviously dead Subject 2 OMIGAWD I saw that truck run you over then back up and run you over again Here it comes Are you OK Subject 1 Still dead Recently a study was conducted by the AASTWYTDSDGAHA3SMTPE or the American Association of Scientists That Waste Your Tax Dollars on Stuff like Do Goldfish Actually Have a 3 Second Memory and the Placebo Effect The study showed that no matter what this question even when asked with all the consideration and kindness in the world does not have the power to make anyone feel better or change the situation The head of AASTWYTDSDGAHA3SMTPE was questioned on the findings of a study in responded Well we found that wasting the time that you could be calling Subject 1 an ambulance by asking if hes OK when he obviously is not is as helpful as the Placebo Effect but we got our money and now we can get started on more pressing issues At this time the entire AASTWYTDSDGAHA3SMTPE science team left to place bets on who will win the Super Bowl The point is next time someone gets mortally wounded and you feel these three words on your tongue just remember give them a sugar pill and tell them it will make the pain go away
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