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Deborah Tannens 1990 book You Just Dont Understand contains facts about men and womens communication styles Tannen says once these gender differences are sorted out men and women can recognize and understand how to confront real conflicts rather than fighting styles When men and women learn to accept the opposite sexs conversational styles they can learn to understand a shared languagewhere there is symmetry and negotiation of conflicts It is important to recognize that these linguistic differences between men and women do not stem solely from what Tannen describes as cross-cultural communication There are very apparent differences in speaking styles for example women tend to offer suggestions and give reasons whereas men tend to give demands without reasons However the root of communication conflicts is really the result of the opposite natures of male and female It is the nature of men to be dominant and it is the nature of women to be submissive any revolt against these natures will cause conflict amongst men and women Tannen says If a man experiences life as a fight for freedom he is naturally inclined to resist attempts to control him and determine his behaviorp152 Since male and female natures influence behavior and conversational styles they play more of a significant role in communication than we may think and evidence of this dates clear back to creation The book of Genesis clearly defines Gods purpose for creating man and woman God said man created in the likeness of God is to have dominion over all the earth and every living creature Woman created from man is to multiply and be a companion for man God intended there to be orderliness which is why He designed men and women with very specific biological and psychological differences These differences distinguish natures and determine male and female behaviors Genesis 11-24 Men and women must not confuse nature with behavior although nature influences behavior men and women have free-will and must
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