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She stands 5 feet 2 inches tall weighs 95 pounds and has short blonde hair and blue eyes I see my older sister Amanda Others see a model of perfection Dont get me wrong my sister and I are close and have been since birth My mother has kept pictures of us ranging from the time we went Trick - or - Treating with each other to Amandas graduation For seventeen years weve shared every life experience imaginable and weve dealt with the trials and tribulations that come with growing up But in September she left home to attend the University of Arkansas at Fayetteville leaving me to face life alone However it gave me the opportunity to live life by myself as Ryan instead of Amandas little brother Since the beginning I got stuck with a teacher that she had had Being four years younger than my sibling made the memory of Amanda being the bright student that she is easier for my teachers to recall Every September for twelve years I was greeted by all of my teachers with the same Oh youre Amandas little brother This was really no big deal The following year my fifth grade teacher said to me Oh youre Amandas little brother This upset me a little At first this association with my scholarly sister did not bother me too much If anything I found it beneficial because I believed that it would help me build relationships with my teachers But with each passing year the little comments and remarks literally ate away at my identity Comments like You did good but Amanda got a better grade can easily destroy a childs self-esteem As I became older I started believing that I was not growing up as myself but rather as the product of someone else It almost made me happy to see
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