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An Analysis of Sekou Sundiata's "Blink Your Eyes"

In this descriptive essay, the student analyzes several elements of Sekou Sundiata's poem, "Blink Your Eyes," and its overall relevance to social issues today.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Natalie's feedback:

"Sekou Sundiata was a powerful, impactful poet indeed! Even so, poetry can be tricky to analyze at times, but you did a pretty good job overall. While you did stay focused on the purpose of the essay, I think your writing suffered a bit from disorganization. You covered so many elements, but seemed to jump around from one to another quickly, which made the essay feel rambling and even repetitive at times. Having so much to analyze can definitely pose a challenge when it comes to organization, so I think you could really benefit from creating an outline and sticking to one element per paragraph (for example, focusing one half of the paragraph on how he used a certain technique and the other half on why he used that technique before moving on to the next paragraph/element). I also felt that your introduction and conclusion were very basic, but I loved how you brought attention to the issue of racial profiling and inequality as it still exists today in your conclusion. In fact, I think you could definitely talk about that more in your introduction as well, which would then bring it full circle to your conclusion. In that regard, do avoid describing his wording as “slang,” as he is in fact speaking in African American Vernacular English (AAVE), which is an actual dialect and not simply “incorrect” or “slang” English. Other minor issues included some conventional errors, such as sentences that were a bit too short/choppy at times and paragraphs that were too long (try to keep it to about two paragraphs per page or so), and a few punctuation mistakes. Formatting was just about perfect, so no worries there. You have some really good material; with a few corrections and some reorganization, you will have a great essay!"

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