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Word Count: 638
Holden Caulfield is teen angst bull-crap with a pickax Hes sarcastic nasty and completely unlikeable He also doesnt give a crap He is every teenager caught between the crapy little games of high school youre supposed to kill yourself if the football team loses or something and the fear of adulthood going to get an office job and make a lot of money like the rest of the phonies The greatness in Holden Caulfield is that what he has to say is better than a million Celestine Prophecies or anything said by Jonathan Livingston Seagull save for the squawks after you shoot him or Jesus save for the apocryphal hey Peter I can see your house from here Holden Caulfield says that life sucks everyone is a phony and youll be inevitably disappointed by everyone that you hold in awe If you think that this sounds awful ask yourself one question When was the last time you found any joy in watching Barney or the Care Bears It isnt just what he says but the way he says it He goes through life making dead-on observations that completely shoot the kneecaps out from under the terminally self-righteous When a successful mortician tells the school to follow his example and pray when things go bad it is Holden Caulfield who points out that the guy is praying for more people to die Hes depressed by nuns and annoyed by shallow girlfriends while in love with his platonic friend Even more interesting is the fact that Caulfields general pissed off attitude and his hormones are inextricably linked He practically wants to kill his roommate Stradlatter because Stradlatter might have screwed a girl he desires He guiltily admits to making out with phonies and in a major confession he confesses to being a virgin He gets the crap beat out of him by a disgruntled pimp after deciding that he doesnt want a to have sex with
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