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What is negotiation Negotiation occurs when two or more people and groups come together to try and reach a mutually satisfactory agreement over a conflict Negotiation skills are used in creating suitable environments for reaching such agreementsB Elder 1994 P112 Arguing on the other hand is a form of conflict any conflict situation has the potential to involve destructive conflict or constructive conflict Conflict resolution is often achieved by negotiation Arguing is a term used for conflict others are discussion debate spat clash fights all of these are varying forms of conflict The main cause of conflict is poor communication According to R Bolton there are five sets of skills needed to develop good communication skills These are listening skills assertion skills conflict-resolution skills negotiation skills and skills selection knowing which skill to use in any given situation Listening is more than hearing it is active You need to be alert focused and patient Impatience is one of the main barriers to listening This is a common cause of frustration leading to arguments Bolton 1986 PP15-26 says logical argument while useful in some situations is also used to keep people at an emotional distance causing a barrier in conflict resolution You need assertion skills to deal with people and to avoid problems True assertive behaviour is rare Experts in communication skills estimate that less than 5 of the population can be expected to communicate assertively Bolton 1987 P118 Without these skills it is natural to expect there will be problems in living we all have the ability to cope adequately with these problems should we make the effort to be assertive Aggressive behaviour is when you infringe on the rights of others expressing your feelings through insults sarcasm hostile statements the use of labels and putdowns An aggressive person may also use physical violence speak in a loud voice and will almost always wins arguments Aggression has no place in negotiation Bruce Elder 1994 P113
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