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Word Count: 427
According to the author Deborah Tannen the article Sex Lies and conversation is about how differently men and women percieve conversation in their relationship She states that lack of conversation is wreaking havoc within marriages this is due to the fact that men and women have very different expectations of communication Tannen describes how differences in communication start in the childhood socialization For young girls conversation is the cornerstone of friendship By sharing secrets thoughtsm feelings and impressions girls and women build intimacy in their relationships Where as young boys build relationsips by doing things together Young boys are more inclusive with each other creating larger groups of friends Within these large groups boys compete with each other to avoid the subordinate position Intimate conversation is a form of weakness for boys and men leaving one to feel as the subordinate just like a child listening to an adult One impression of not listening results from differences i the mechanics of conversation Deborah tannen studies videotapes made by psychologist Bruce Dorval of young children and adults talking to their same sex best friends Within all ages the girld and women face each other in conversation with direct eye contact Unlike the boys and the men who would not face one another and periodically glanced around the roomBy facing away and little eye contact gives women the impession that the men are not listening Another habit described in the essay is the switching of topics Women in conversation about problems will ask probing questions and express agreement and understanding But men are not inquisitive They will dismiss each others problems with simple statements and switch to a topic about themselves Women percieve these responses as insensitive and belittling Deborah tannen also describes how a woans conversational habits are just frustrating to men in close comfortable surroundings women overlap each other finish each others sentences and anticipate what the other is going to say men fell this
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