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Word Count: 664
Good afternoon my name iswell youre St Peter you should know who my name is Just kidding my name is Steve Martin So apparently Im here to justify why I should be let into heaven Well let me ask you something Do you know what a dow for a booberday is I didnt think so And this is my primary reason why I should be let into heaven I know how to double-talk Alright so youre not too impressed with that I can see No problem I have something else that might please you One day my closest friend Morris was perusing through the locker room when he was abruptly stopped by two of the biggest guys in our school Joe and Ben They began to rough him up and throw him up against the lockers I knew that I had to intervene or else my dear friend Morris would only be a smear on the lockers So I smoothly but quickly made my way over to Morris The first thing I did was get their attention off Morris so they would leave him alone for a minute but then I had an epiphany I was now the one they were after So I started to talk reasonably with them a little louder than normal though to try to get the attention of some of the coaches which certainly did work The coaches came over right away and broke up the incident What Still need more Wow youre a tough crowd I still have a couple more tricks up my sleeve yet While my friend Morris and I were at a YMCA summer camp we roomed with a young boy named Ivan Most people called him Ivan the Terrible because he had these unsightly sores that were oozing puss over his entire face And as usual Morris and I inevitably found trouble at this camp or should I say trouble found us Either way we
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