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Why Capital Punishment Is Unethical and Immoral

In this essay on capital punishment, the student argues against the practice as a component of the American justice system while finding other solutions (life without parole) lacking in terms of retribution and protecting the public.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bridget's feedback:

"Your essay moves with purpose overall, and each paragraph shows your facility with structure, signposting, and transitions. There is a tendency within the paragraphs for the discussion to meander a bit, and some formatting issues (random line breaks) impact readability. The line breaks will be a quick fix, whereas tightening up the intra-paragraph movement and flow will entail some focused work at the sentence level. I recommend streamlining via removal of hypotheticals and rhetorical questions, both of which can productively be swapped out for a sourced piece of evidence that also does the work of deepening ethos. (I spot an unattributed quotation, so I am not sure where your research stands at this point in the process -- for a debate of this magnitude, research and sourcing is strongly recommended.)

I'd like to zoom in on a moment in the introduction to give an idea of a moment where a small revision can address writing mechanics, style, and clarity. Note "...it was found to be an unethical practice.": this use of the passive voice is very confusing because the reader doesn't understand "who" found this to be the case. If this is you (the "I" of the first sentence), clarify this. If this refers to sources, use a signal phrase and parenthetical citation."

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