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Word Count: 764
There have been a lot of terrible tunes in the past ranging everywhere from new wave pop to 70s disco to some really bad 80s metal The 90s succeeded in topping all of these with the creations of the pop princess and the boy-band Everyone knows the terror that ensues when a group of overworked and underpaid Applebees waitresses decide its time to embarrass you for the rest of your life Nothing says I Suck like Los Del Rios Macarena Celine Dion stopped my heart and made me heave with My Heart Will Go On Sonny and Chers The Beat Goes On made me feel like Id been beaten to death after it was over Ultimately though the bowels of hell were built on the shoulders of a single man Sisqo sucks plain and simple it just cant be explained in any better words I sat and pondered for many hours trying to derive the perfect phrase to begin this paper In the end I had to use Sisqo sucks I felt that I was lying to myself if I used anything else The Thong Song a late 90s RB ode to the g-string is by far the worst song ever created It sustains this position for three main reasons the lyrical content is revolting Sisqo is a retarded monkey and the damn song just never ends The lyrical content of The Thong Song is revolting Lets take a trip into the imminent demise of the civilized world and sing about a girl with a big butt whos showing off her floozy ass-gear The first line that should grab your attention and choke you with a kung-fu grip is She got dumps like a truck truck truck WHAT THE FUCK Did I hear that right She just took a shit on the beach my lord This may have some subliminal meaning like shes got a nice ass somewhere in the rap-worlds dictionary but all I
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