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An Argument Against Society's Definition of Success

In this argumentative essay, the author discusses the official definition of success, society's definition of success, and why society's definition is incorrect.
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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Jenn's feedback:

"Your writing has a clear goal and purpose. You achieved this by focusing on the topic and making it clear that you understood the subject you were writing about. You have provided a great amount of detail to support your thoughts and ideas. There are some times that some of your ideas are not as well-developed as others. You have a strong introduction that compels readers to continue on, but your paper seems to end abruptly because of the lack of a strong conclusion that concisely summarizes all of the ideas in the body of the paper. There are places in the sentences do not have a natural transition. This seems as though it is occurring because you are writing like you would speak, which is not always grammatically correct, and does not necessarily flow properly. For the most part, your essay is consistently formatted but there are times where paragraphs are not indented. Despite you not following a style guide, you have included a lot of facts in your essay. This suggests that you found information in sources and included it in your paper. If this is the case, it is important that you properly cite that information, giving the original authors of the information credit. If you do not do this, it seems that you are claiming someone else's ideas as your own which can be viewed as plagiarism. There are a number of issues with grammar, punctuation, and capitalization. Once again, I think that many of the grammar and punctuation issues are created from writing like you would talk."

Learn more about this feedback