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An Argument against the Banning of Skateboarding

In this argumentative essay, a student explains why skateboarding should not be banned in two cities in Illinois. The student cites the health benefits of skateboarding and asserts that skateboarders are being treated unfairly.
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4
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958
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Angela's feedback:

"It is clear from your essay that you've put time and thought into how you wanted to present your argument. The overall structure of your paper makes sense and you provide many compelling points, but your third body paragraph is quite weak. More research into the topic of skateboarding vs. biking might be needed since, for example, one big difference between the two activities that you fail to mention is the fact that a bike is legally considered a vehicle while a skateboard is not. On a related note, there are some problems with parallel structure as seen with your comparison of "skateboarding" to "a bike" instead of "biking." Regarding other writing convention issues, the title of a newspaper should be italicized to distinguish it from surrounding text, and the practice of inserting two spaces between sentences is an outmoded one. Standard practice in academic writing today is to use one space only."

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