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An Argument for Banning Cigarettes

This is a persuasive essay that promotes banning cigarettes. The student cites health risks, financial costs, and pollution as reasons for the proposed ban.
PAGES
2
WORDS
452
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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bob's feedback:

"You make some good points despite this being a short essay. Your main arguments regarding health risks, addiction, cost, and pollution provide strong support for the idea that cigarettes should be banned. Make sure you are citing your sources when presenting statistics as failing to do so may undermine your credibility as well as violate your school's policy regarding plagiarism.

While your opening paragraph is compelling, it serves to delay getting to the main point of your essay. It is also problematic to lump "drugs" into a single category as that umbrella term can include anything from marijuana to methamphetamine to Tylenol.

There is some repetition that could be pared down in this essay, and that would make room for more solid support of your broader claims. Specifically, the health risks associated with smoking cigarettes are not thoroughly addressed, and there is a lot of information available to draw from.

Make sure to proofread your essay thoroughly to address issues with word choice, conjugation, and other grammatical issues."

Learn more about this feedback