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An Argument for Wearing Hats in School

In this persuasive essay, the student argues that hats should be allowed in school.
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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Whitney's feedback:

"You have a very clear viewpoint, and you gave evidence to support your view. However, your main reason that kids should be able to wear hats is that you don't think anyone would hide things there -- are there other reasons that hats should be allowed? I think some of your points could be rephrased - for instance, you probably don't need to give an alternate place for students to hide drugs and weapons. Additionally, you told a story that went against your point (about the eighteen-year-old in Jamaica) and you didn't really refute that story -- it might be better to provide an example that backs up your point of view! Finally, consider closely proofreading everything you write before you turn it in. Make sure that you're capitalizing the first letter of every sentence, that you're spelling all of your words right, and that your sentences say what you want them to say."

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