An Interpretation of the Challenges that African Americans Face in the World Today

Jenn's feedback:

"You did a great job writing about such a complex topic. You were able to find a lot of resources and disseminated the information appropriately. The paper could benefit from a round of proofreading though. There are a large number of punctuation errors, along with MLA style errors. When using quotations marks, punctuation such as commas and periods, should go within them. There are words capitalized that should not be such as "of" in the United States of America. There is also, what seems to be, an excessive use of quotation marks. If something such as black tax is an actual term it does not need to be in quotation marks, unless you are using the term directly from a text. If you are, then the quotation marks are appropriate, but you need to include citations every time that you have used quotation marks. One way or another, there appears to be a significant lack of citations or, at least, properly formatted citations. Every time that you are quoting a text, even if it is just a word or phrase, you need to make sure that you credit the author. There are also some facts included in your essay, such as information about Rodney King, that is not followed by a citation. Every time that you are using information found in another source, you need to credit the author. As far as the use of MLA style, you need to include a header with your last name and page number, make sure that there are not extra spaces between paragraphs, make sure your citations (and the punctuation at the end of sentences with citations) are properly formatted, bring the Works Cited to the top of the page and remove the ":," and make sure that all of your references include all of the necessary information and are properly formatted (i.e., hanging indent, italics). I would go back through and make sure that you have a reference for every citation and a citation for every reference. It seems there may be a slight disconnect between your Works Cited and your citations. It would be good to take time to make your introduction and your conclusion a bit stronger. The introduction could be made stronger by making a clear thesis statement and clearly identifying your research question. The conclusion could be made stronger by clearly summarizing the main points made in the essay and identifying the answer to your research question. Last, your paper would benefit from being proofread. There are a number of grammatical errors throughout the paper (i.e., unnecessary words added, improper word tense) that need to be resolved."

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