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The Correlation of the America's Current Welfare System with Juvenile Crime

This essay is about how programs such as Medicaid and welfare increase crime rates among young black men. The author suggests that this is related to these services better supporting single-parent families and not discouraging out-of-wedlock births.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Jenn's feedback:

"You have done an excellent job with the formatting and conventions of the paper. The paper is neatly formatted, and very few grammar or punctuation errors are found in your writing. Being good at both of these aspects of writing helps improve reading comprehension and cohesion.

The most significant element of your paper that needs to be worked on is the organization. Working on this will improve both the content of your document and the communication of your paper's purpose. The main thing wrong with the paper's organization is the lack of a clear introduction. The introduction should include background information about the topic that you are going to discuss and end with a thesis statement that lets the reader know what the goal of your paper is and how you are going to achieve that goal. The body of the paper should then align with the thesis statement, and the conclusion should then summarize the main points made in the body of your essay and relate them to the thesis statement. As written, it is unclear whether your primary focus is crime rates, the welfare system, or something else. Including an introduction and elaborating on the conclusion will also make it more apparent what the purpose of your paper is and will show the reader that you stay focused on the purpose throughout your writing."

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