In-text citation:
(Kibin, 2024)
Reference list entry:
Kibin. (2024). The influence of greek culture on the roman empire. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-influence-of-greek-culture-on-the-roman-empire-KqcC7NhG
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Bridget's feedback:
"As you move forward from this rough draft, I recommend a focus on organization and transitions. Make sure each paragraph is clearly focused and that the movement from one idea to the next is logical; for example, the second paragraph has a solid focus in the first half, but the information about the fate of the Roman Empire, as it relates to the topic, is not as clear, and the reader is left wondering how it connects back to the thesis. Similarly, the final body paragraph addresses two different examples; help the reader understand why they are paired with a more assertive topic sentence.
You can also focus on lower-order concerns and how they impact clarity. If we look at the last sentence, for example, "how the Greek based theirs" is rather confusing -- take a look, think about the point you want to make, and determine is this is a matter of revising word choice or phrasing, or if you need to solidify the claim itself conceptually."
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In-text citation:
(Kibin, 2024)
Reference list entry:
Kibin. (2024). The influence of greek culture on the roman empire. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-influence-of-greek-culture-on-the-roman-empire-KqcC7NhG
In-text citation:
("The Influence of Greek Culture on the Roman Empire.")
Works Cited entry:
"The Influence of Greek Culture on the Roman Empire." Kibin, 2024, www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-influence-of-greek-culture-on-the-roman-empire-KqcC7NhG
Footnote:
1. "The Influence of Greek Culture on the Roman Empire." Kibin, 2024. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-influence-of-greek-culture-on-the-roman-empire-KqcC7NhG.
Bibliography entry:
"The Influence of Greek Culture on the Roman Empire." Kibin, 2024. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-influence-of-greek-culture-on-the-roman-empire-KqcC7NhG.
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