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Word Count: 563
I had always known that in some way shape or form I was not mentally stable I also felt that I was some how different from every one else because none of my peers could relate to me at all due to my state of depression Depression has taking a big part in my life I had to deal with cooping trying to find my self and Learning to set goals When I was first diagnosed with depression at the age of sixteen the hardest thing for me to do was to except it I had to face the facts that unintentionally I received depression hereditarily from my mother who dealt with depression practically all her life Most of the time when I went to see my psychiatrist and my psychologist I felt the need to hide my true feelings by being phony and not giving doctors all the truth about how I was feeling I didnt want to let them in my head too much because I thought they would think I was crazy The only thing that I could possibly do besides getting on and off of anti-depressants and sleeping pills was to crutch on drugs and alcohol Every weekend when I told my mother I was spending the night over my best friends house and we werent going anywhere we both would actually go drink and smoke with her cousin and her cousins friends Smoking and drinking had become just an appetizer to me and I needed to lash out even more while I was dealing with trying to find myself Trying to find myself consisted of finding my sexuality wondering what my purpose was on this earth and learning to set goals At this time in my life I was confused to the third degree My sexuality was completely unknown I didnt know who or what I wanted to be with In the meantime I prayed for God to lead me
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