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Word Count: 1,453
The Woman Who Married Herself Why Not With those two words my best pal Daisy Blacken changed the course of my life When she said them to me she had just spent the last three hours on the phone with Minister Morris talking about various sections of the holy bible in excruciatingly fine detail He pointed out that Leviticus warns Christians not to marry relations like their sister aunt mother mother in law daughter or even their granddaughter But nowhere in the great book is there a rule against marrying oneself So when I told Daisy Blacken that was exactly what I wanted to do she eventually conceded those two definite words Why Not of course the bible also neglects to forbid anyone from marrying Great-grandmothers tables or pet fish It wouldnt surprise me to learn that Minister Morris will probably end up marrying his beloved Persian cat as a result of all this Or his feather pillow- after all he has been sleeping with it for quite some time Anyway once I convinced the good reverend to let me marry the woman of my dreams I had to convince my parents Id have to say that between an international religion firmly established for two millennia and my own humble parents my parents were far more difficult to persuade My mother just wouldnt take it seriously at first OK very few people took it seriously but I needed her to know I meant it She kept asking me silly things like Why marry- you can just live with yourself or What will you wear for the weeding And sadly it drove my father quite mad Literally For years after the weeding he spent days typing up articles for a wide variety of news journals record books and space administration newsletters claiming that he was the first person to have had sex in space He seemed quite convinced
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