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Baseball Is a Real Sport

In this personal narrative, a student recounts his first experience as a batter in a college baseball game. The student argues that while there are people who believe that baseball is not a real sport, it does take a great deal of skill to play the game.
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This essay received an A by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received an A by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Angela's feedback:

"Your familiarity with the game and your passion for the sport come through in your writing, but you also maintain a solid academic tone so that your argument doesn't come off as being told from a biased perspective. Since you've already got strong writing skills, making some minor edits would further enhance your work. For example, you make good use of the em dash, but you should double-check that the correct dash is consistently being used. At the moment, there's an instance where a spaced hyphen is being used in place of the unspaced em dash. There are some run-on sentences that would be best broken up into multiple statements and a couple of cases where it would be appropriate to hyphenate a compound modifier preceding a noun. The use of the serial comma is encouraged in MLA style (and most major American English writing guides) to further enhance clarity in writing. Also, line spacing should be kept consistent within a paragraph and between paragraphs."

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