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My favorite diversion at the gym while Im exercising on theelliptical machine is watching infomercials Some programs orequipment have value others are just gimmicks designed to makeyou think you can achieve amazing results easier quicker andfasterThe best infomercials are the ones that have hot women withperfect bodies The Brazilian Butt Lift gives me my fill of firmrounded rear ends The Zumba infomercial takes care of my sexythigh requirements Last but not least even though I dont agreewith her politics Elisabeth Hasselbecks Ab Glider infomercial hasmy eyes glued to her abdominals Sometimes I wish I could put allthree commercials together but the women would probably put astrain on my heartAs I watch some of these presentations I tend to doubt theirclaims and the effectiveness of their equipment Ive decided I cancleverly improvise my ownOne of these products is a bar that you shake back and forth to getleaner and more muscular Im not quite sure the ripped guy doingthe shaking got his body from that piece of equipment Besidessince Ive turned 50 and my prostate has been trying to grow largerthan my brain Ive been shaking my penis every time I pee and itsnot getting any bigger or strongerAnother piece of equipment Ive seen looks like a walker in whichyou twist around to do different exercises Am I supposed to bemotivated by the ripped guy who supposedly got his body fromthis piece of equipment As this motivational technique didntwork for me I decided to buy a real walker Not only can I do allthe same exercises but Im motivated to use it because I neverwant to be forced to use the walker for realThe last gizmo Ive decided I can make on my own is a chair thatswivels left and right to give you 6-pack abs To make my own Iput a roll of toilet paper on both sides of the wall behind me Nowfor 10 minutes I twist grab and pull on one side and
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