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Can Relationships Shape Your Future?

This essay argues that relationships can shape a person's future. The student explains how family, and especially their mother and brother, have taught them practical and life skills, and how friendships can influence an individual. The student notes that sometimes relationships can have a negative impact, as well.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bridget's feedback:

"This is a good start, and I appreciate how you bring in different types of relationships to explore challenges, growth, and setbacks. The writing is honest and personal, generating ethos and hooking the reader. I recommend some targeted revision in the introduction to make sure the topic of relationships is more immediately clear. If we look at the introduction, the word "relationships" is only introduced to make a point about negative factors, which doesn't reflect the scope of the thesis or body discussion. Aim for a first sentence that establishes the focus right away--anything from repeating your question ("Can relationships shape your future? If I didn't have my mom in my life...") to a rephrased version posed as a statement rather than a question ("Relationships have a major impact on a person's future. If I didn't have my mom in my life...")."

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