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Children Should Not Be Allowed to Drink Soda

In this argumentative essay, a student discusses whether children should be allowed to drink soda. The student asserts that parents should not let their kids drink soda because of its many adverse health effects.
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2
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442
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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Angela's feedback:

"You successfully establish your stance on the issue, and your main reasons against soda drinking are valid. However, your essay would make more sense if your body paragraphs followed the order of the main points as they were listed in your introduction (or vice versa). The sentence that begins "It's awful for" should be revised for parallel construction, and run-on sentences such as the one that begins "Drinking soda is like" should be recast. A through check is needed to ensure you've punctuated the end of a sentence correctly and to make sure you haven't accidentally capitalized words such as "for" when they're used in the middle of a sentence. Your essay would look neater overall if you maintained a consistent font and font size throughout the work. Your conclusion needs some revision. At the moment, you present a counterargument and then do nothing to refute it or further develop the thought, so there's no material to further convince the reader that your stance is the correct one. Also, your conclusion doesn't cover the same points that you discussed in the rest of your work."

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