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Climbing the Ladder of Professional Success

This essay reviews the education and goals the writer would have to take to reach where she wants to go in her professional career, and how to achieve a positive work-life balance.
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866
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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Christina's feedback:

"Overall, you did a good job with content and transitioning into your quotes, ensuring they were used at an appropriate time and effectively backing your points. That being said, there are some areas of focus that can help in making your paper stronger. Regarding focus and purpose, you want to be sure that in the first paragraph, you are letting the reader know what your intent is. Are you teaching a lesson about something? What do you want your reader to take away from your paper? This is what you will base the rest of your paper on, so you want to ensure it is stated clearly so the reader understands what point you are ultimately wanting to make. Regarding content, you had very good quotes and were able to express those appropriately in order to strengthen your points. Regarding organization, focus on those transitions as you go from one paragraph to the next. For instance, from the first paragraph to the second, you go straight into your interview. Instead, let the reader know why you are interviewing her and what points you want to convey to the reader. Essentially, you want to make the next paragraph relevant to the last, giving a smooth bridge for the reader to follow you to your next point. When it comes to formatting, I would invite you to review the official MLA handbook for guidance regarding how to format the works cited page itself and how each work is to be formatted on the works cited page. When it comes to conventions, such as grammar and punctuation, I think a round of proofreading could really make your work stronger and cleaner."

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